The beginning end....

The beginning of a new end. What was in my mind was never seen by anyone. Though it was clear enough to understand no one tried so. What i was expecting was much more elaborate than what it was portrayed so. Why is it so that only i have to be calm? Why is it so that every time i have to take a back? Why is it so that whenever i expect myself to be composed i always react in some insane manner? Is it so that i can't be one or is it so that i don't want to be one. The only way out is to break free which would cost me my life and to hold back would cost me my life's time....