Shaping the change....

She love the way its shaping up. Though rough, she can handle it. The density of the change that's happening in her makes her feel special...unique than ever before. She doesn't see the negatives, nor the positives. The only thing that's making her go on is the voice. The voice that tells her to exclude the most inevitable part of her life. She was not able to let go...the same old shade struck her.....Change!!......She was smitten by the BLACK shade of her life...trying to break the cascade and running away when the same voice told her to take place at a higher stage...Considering herself as a so called grown up she tried to escape and fit into the billet of a 'WOMAN'. After a great deal of thought she was able to identify their voices as a very inviolable MONOLOGUE......

The beginning end....

The beginning of a new end. What was in my mind was never seen by anyone. Though it was clear enough to understand no one tried so. What i was expecting was much more elaborate than what it was portrayed so. Why is it so that only i have to be calm? Why is it so that every time i have to take a back? Why is it so that whenever i expect myself to be composed i always react in some insane manner? Is it so that i can't be one or is it so that i don't want to be one. The only way out is to break free which would cost me my life and to hold back would cost me my life's time....

Breaking down...

There were times when i told myself to just shut the hell out of me and go on. But then there was this other girl standing by me asking was it deserving enough? I couldn't answer her...at all. Was she right or was i right. All i knew was the whole lot of confusion going on in my heart,mind and body. Mistakes...those mighty mistakes makes my life a living hell. Why are there two minds in me when i just need one? Why is the so called wrong one so powerful when i don't even want it to exist? For everyone else its just a matter of disarray but for me its a whole lot, majorly like a saga. In which i was a sole warrior and the enemy was me myself...

Rising to a rebel.....

After all the passion she was again held up by the same old grief....what to and what not to. Why are the emotions so strong and weird when it comes to loving someone your heart out. Why are we not able to understand the good things are happening to us. Why are we always running behind the facets of life which doesn't even look back to you. Why do we always fall in love with a person who isn't your match. Why the hell does that person realize what their partner needs...IS IT SO HARD TO GET THE EMOTIONS OUT SOMETIMES.....Please Explain?!!??

A new start....again....

Feeling so pure and fresh,she bloomed and blended herself into a mold of womanhood.She wasn't aware that being matured was about savvying and listening to others even without narrating it to yourself.Yet she was happy and gratified.She saw her future in him as clear as a crystal.She fancied her long lost dreams and lived with a new zest.Being given so much care and respect she was astonished to see herself so differently.This was the time when she was actually living her own self.Everything around her seem to be a unlike her normalcy.She started living in a new world of her own,making her own rules and was feeling complete,fulfilled......

No one but....

She again melted herself down to one. She was a sole tree in the garden of reality. No one even stopped by to tell her that she wasn't alone, no one but a small radiant stroke of color which showed her a path through which she could grab the whole palette.With his sparkling eyes and roaring personality she imparted her whole self onto his lean berms.She was glad to know that someone was watching her all the way back, till the end.She looked at his face and found solace.She felt as if she knows him for years together.She was left spellbound by his gesture towards her.She was unaware that she a deserved the trust and respect which she got from him.Being so unfamiliar to this side of the coin she was left stunned, stunned for a long period of time.And the moment she was done with her silence, she broke out into tears.With these tears,which were useless for the past and priceless for the future, she dream t of her present.She took him into her arms and hugged him so tight no never let go.She felt a strong urge to be loved, to be cared, to be cherished.She wanted someone to hold back when she is not there.Someone who could get daunted if he couldn't find her in the mob.Someone who would love her no matter how she looked,behaved or what she said.She needed someone who could empathize her when she is uprising from a girl to a women......

And the story continues.....

Thinking she was in a whole new sphere of love,she went in search of new horizons in the world she held in her fists.The new person in her life meant everything to her.She started thinking about him as a soul mate.Giving her a lie of her lifetime,he glided smoothly into the trusted nook of her heart.She bestowed her faith onto his fake imprint.Like a petty miser he took it all.And left her wry with a false impression of a essence called love.She,so silly,took that as a part of her life and accepted wholeheartedly.
And then there was the miser, laughing his heart out and pointing his sharp tools towards her.The tools,though not touching,were stabbing her ruthlessly.She was shattered by the only thought that gave a grief to her mind and most of it to her heart.She was angry,furious, raged,was violated yet was collapsed,smashed.She tried to stand but destiny made her fall so deep that she couldn't even see a small beam of light coming her way.She was broken, broken into small pieces.She herself was unable to gather her tattered dreams,her shattered hopes.No one knew whats going on in her heart.No one,but.....